No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
