VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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