I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
