I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize