I wish my penis had an off switch
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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