the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
