Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
