i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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