Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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