What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
