Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
