i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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