He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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