Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
