Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
