Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
