return my video game
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
