It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
