I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
do herpes really smell.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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