Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
