I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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