Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
