Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
