"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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