What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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