i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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