She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She bit a glass in half.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
