I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize