This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
