Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize