McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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