Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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