Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
