I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
