so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
