i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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