How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
