I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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