4 words: hood of his car
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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