im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
