it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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