Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
