He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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