I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
