$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Vodka?
Forever.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
