Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
