Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
