No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
