i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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