Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
