We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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