Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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