These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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