she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
